Well, this one is particularly…. shameful. One of the Tens admits to a shame so deep that they can’t bear to share their name – or even their gender! He/she just cannot afford to risk having their whole life ruined by this terrible secret.
I’m sure most of us had a blankie – aka woobie – when we were kids. But eventually, you outgrow your woobie. Maybe you move on to a cherished stuffed animal, or maybe your parents throw your security blankie in the dumpster because you refused to clean your room.
Or MAYBE, just maybe, you somehow manage to make it to adulthood, still snuggling with your beloved every night. Maybe you try to hide it from the person who will eventually become your spouse, waiting until they fall asleep so you can bring it into the bed, and then waking up early to put it back so they will never know.
Ah, the sweet bliss that is your woobie wrapped around your neck. You know it’s wrong – you’re well on your way to middle age, for crying out loud! You cry out “I wish I knew how to quit you!!” But every night you come crawling back for more.
Michael Keaton as Mr. Mom had some wise words that might help you, Anonymous Ten:
I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they’re great… and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn’t enough. You’re out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you’re strung out on bedspreads Ken. That’s serious.