The Wheel Weaves as The Wheel Wills

Mummy says:

I know most people have a favorite book and, like your favorite movie or album, you can sit with it every once in a while – enjoying the story even though you know the ending. Usually these books are classics, having stood the test of time. The literature and argot is beautiful and poetic regardless of the storyline.

This book for me is actually a 10,000 page series of TWELVE books. Its an epic work of Proustian proportion, and the worst kind of Sci-Fi/Fantasy. Through it I have learned the name and description of every medieval weapon imaginable. There are hundreds of characters and plot-lines, each more ludicrous than the last. The humor is trite, the romance flat and the dialogue banal. There are monsters, dragons, and magic. You would be hard pressed as a discerning reader to make it through just one of the 700 page books, much less all 12. My shame-ber does not even have room for all the hardcover editions, and it could fit Gravedigger (the awesomest monster truck ever). And yet, my friends, and yet…. I have read the entire series…every single word…no less than 20 times. The real tragedy? In a few weeks, depending on spare time, it will be 21.

Its called the Wheel of Time. I know its shiny, fantastic cover is alluring… but don’t go down that path friend… you’ll never come back.


I did a little research on this series (how could you not – monsters, dragons AND magic??), and found some juicy quotes that will give us all a taste of the wonder:

“Women do not become exhausted, they only exhaust others.”

“May you shelter in the palm of the creators’ hand. May the last embrace of the Mother welcome you home.”

“Life is a dream from which we all must wake before we can dream again.”

“Luck is a horse to ride like no other.”

Indeed, The Wheel weaves as The Wheel wills.



Filed under The Shame-ber

3 responses to “The Wheel Weaves as The Wheel Wills

  1. Marie-Reine

    Um. Yeah. I’ve only just started this series, and I’m already hooked. Reading a book in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy genre before bed is a night time ritual, and The Wheel of Time marks the 3rd series I’m in the middle of (all of them with new books to be published). I’m not ashamed, per se, but I am ashamed to admit that the first book in this series…gave me nightmares. I got THAT into it. Knowing that other people are into this series does make me feel better though.

  2. Inspector Luv aka Fugly

    I, too, have been entranced by terrible Sci-Fi / Fantasy novels, but my poison was ‘The Belgariad’ series by David Eddings. However, I only read them 3 or 4 times in high school. I haven’t touched them since, but maybe it’s only because they are hidden away in a box in my mother’s garage.

    Recently, the only Fantasy series I’ve read is Harry Potter and, yes, I have re-read the books multiple times. Not quite shame-ber worthy, yet, but check-in in 10 years…

  3. lqs101

    I am totally going to start using “Luck is a horse to ride like no other” as my de facto banal conversation insert, you know, instead of “It is what is is” or “whaddya gonna do?”

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