I’m Late for the “Bus”

A very anonymous city-dweller shares a really super gem of a Shame-ber item. Oh, this one is SO good:

My boss pays $600 a month for a reserved parking spot in the garage in the building I work in. But he never comes into the office, so I’ve decided to park there until I get caught. But I don’t want my coworkers to know, because they all ride the bus since parking costs are so outrageous, and they would steal my secret or make me share the space. So I pretend I’m going to the bus every day, including saying things like, “I can’t stay a minute more, or I’ll miss my bus.” I also pretend to walk out the building towards an imaginary bus stop until my coworkers are out of sight, then I return to the building, get in my sweet sedan, and cruise home.

Does anyone else have a BIG lie that might qualify for The Shame-ber? Perhaps somebody “volunteers” with kids who have muscular dystrophy?

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3 Comments

Filed under The Shame-ber

3 responses to “I’m Late for the “Bus”

  1. Robin

    This is AWESOME! (RAWR) I do this sometimes when my wife and I have plans in the evening, only mine is even more of a shame-ber entry!

    Here it goes:
    We have a parking lot and it’s free to park…BUUUUUT, my boss is really long winded AND busy, so it’s a dangerous combination! She frequently waits until the end of the day to review my design work. This creates problems for me all the time because 98% of the time I actually do ride the bus and am always scrambling out of the office. But, on days that we have after work plans I’ll drive and park down the street in the neighborhoods surrounding our office so my boss won’t see my car and she’ll refrain from jawing my ear off so I can skate off to dinner and spending time with our daughter!

    At first I sort of felt bad about it, but ultimately concluded that if she spoke more concisely and was able to manage her time I’d have no issues with getting my design notes back in a timely manor, so really when you think about it she forces me to lie to her…or at least that how I justify it!

    ~Matt

  2. taco bell guy

    The one thing I am guilty of in this realm is pretending to need to get off the bus earlier to avoid talking to certain people. Like I’m sitting there, about 1/2 a mile from getting to my destination and then somebody who for whatever reason I just don’t feel like chatting with sits down next to me and starts talking about something and then “ding!”. It’s time to get off the bus. More often than not I just walk the rest of the way but if I’m feeling particularly lazy I will just wait for the next bus to come and finish my journey. So shameful, indeed.

  3. April aka InspectorLuv aka Fugly

    Wow! These posts keep getting better and better…

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