Well, this one is particularly…. shameful. One of the Tens admits to a shame so deep that they can’t bear to share their name – or even their gender! He/she just cannot afford to risk having their whole life ruined by this terrible secret.

I’m sure most of us had a blankie – aka woobie – when we were kids. But eventually, you outgrow your woobie. Maybe you move on to a cherished stuffed animal, or maybe your parents throw your security blankie in the dumpster because you refused to clean your room.

Or MAYBE, just maybe, you somehow manage to make it to adulthood, still snuggling with your beloved every night. Maybe you try to hide it from the person who will eventually become your spouse, waiting until they fall asleep so you can bring it into the bed, and then waking up early to put it back so they will never know.

Ah, the sweet bliss that is your woobie wrapped around your neck. You know it’s wrong – you’re well on your way to middle age, for crying out loud! You cry out “I wish I knew how to quit you!!” But every night you come crawling back for more.

Michael Keaton as Mr. Mom had some wise words that might help you, Anonymous Ten:

I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they’re great… and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn’t enough. You’re out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you’re strung out on bedspreads Ken. That’s serious.




Filed under The Shame-ber

5 responses to “Woobie

  1. oh so anonymous

    me too!

  2. InspectorLuv

    This is a most perfect Shame-ber item. You could craft it into something else, like a pillow. Make it for your future spouse as a wedding gift! Then, you could snuggle it all night without shame.

  3. I'm not saying my name.

    My blankie has also made it to my adulthood. I hide it in the bottom of my nightstand and only pull it out to snuggle when my spouse isn’t around, or already asleep.

    I thought I was the only one.

    Last week, my 2 year old found it and tried to adopt it. I’m not having that. I feel like a horrible parent.

    • amelia

      You are not a horrible parent. I have a blankie, too. My brother suggested I let his son adopt it. I told him to stfu and buy his son his own blankie. That stuff is sacred.
      However, everyone in my life knows I have a blankie. And my boyfriend thinks its cute, as long as it stays in my closet. 😉

  4. Wouldn't you like to know?

    Me too! I keep mine hidden in my dresser drawer, and every so often when I’m getting out socks, I sneak a snuggle.

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