Monthly Archives: April 2009

I’m Late for the “Bus”

A very anonymous city-dweller shares a really super gem of a Shame-ber item. Oh, this one is SO good:

My boss pays $600 a month for a reserved parking spot in the garage in the building I work in. But he never comes into the office, so I’ve decided to park there until I get caught. But I don’t want my coworkers to know, because they all ride the bus since parking costs are so outrageous, and they would steal my secret or make me share the space. So I pretend I’m going to the bus every day, including saying things like, “I can’t stay a minute more, or I’ll miss my bus.” I also pretend to walk out the building towards an imaginary bus stop until my coworkers are out of sight, then I return to the building, get in my sweet sedan, and cruise home.

Does anyone else have a BIG lie that might qualify for The Shame-ber? Perhaps somebody “volunteers” with kids who have muscular dystrophy?

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Where Would Lauren Conrad Eat?

We have a very special MTV edition of The Shame-ber today.

First off, if you know who Lauren Conrad is, that is borderline Shame-ber material. You’re playing with fire, people!

Anyway, a Ten who lives in the Los Angeles area likes to watch The Hills and then makes a point to eat at the restaurants that are featured on the show.

the-hills

This type of behavior might be more wide-spread than we think though…. I bet there are some Tens in Seattle who hang out at the Eastlake Azteca in the hopes that some of that TBTL glamour rubs off of them. Am I right?

azteca

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Shame-ber Roundup

A quick and dirty roundup of some notable Shame-ber items:

Japan’s #1 mixer has a lukewarm secret lurking in his Shame-ber – barely heating up frozen food when he’s deep in the cups. Well, I guess that’s not a big secret, but it’s Shame-ber worthy nonetheless.

Accacia of Union Suit fame shares three items she is particularly ashamed of: corned beef hash from a can, the music of Shaggy – including his duet with Cyndi Lauper, and CSI: Miami (it’s no NCIS!).

Drinking box wine and enjoying some of Joaquin Phoenix’s early work – before he abandoned acting for his highly successful rap career.

Have a great weekend. RAWR!

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Baby Einstein

Today, we have a submission from an anonymous Eleven who needs a little something to help her relax, but unfortunately cannot get fully Tired and Emotional like many of us do:

I really enjoy watching Baby Einstein DVDs when I need to relax. “Baby Mozart” in particular. On repeat. With a shot of Rescue Remedy. And soft snacks nearby. I first noticed the lulling effect when babysitting my niece and “accidentally” kept the DVD at my house. These things might be secretly training my mind to be a killer, like Mugatu’s video in Zoolander, but it’s hard to think critically about my choices when I’m watching hands gently manipulate toys in a black room to the strains of Mozart.

Hey, if Baby Einstein DVDs can make babies smarter, maybe they’ll make you smarter too! Or, maybe you will become an evil genius. Either way, I think your liver will thank you.

mozart

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Questionable Item

Here’s one that is questionable:

Does Jen’s story about going to Cheesecake Factory alone to eat their spinach artichoke dip qualify for The Shame-ber?

Remember, a shame-ber is in the mind of the beholder! Everyone get on their Shame-ber Stallions and pass judgment.

dip

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I’m More Attractive Than You!

This Seattle-area Ten could do his shopping during normal hours at Bellevue Square, but he says that he prefers to shop at Wal-Mart at 5 am because it gives him the opportunity to feel more attractive in comparison to the other patrons. That is not a bad idea – do what makes you feel good!

walmart_smiley_face

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Blalking

Stalking or spying on someone through their blog, Facebook, Flickr, etc.

We all heard Luke Burbank admit to getting T&E and then checking up on his former co-workers and other people he used to have relationships with by reading their blogs. I also heard from listener Rubly who engages in similar behavior. This breaks down into two different, but equally shameful categories:

1. Reading someone’s blog in the hopes that they will one day write about how awesome you are, and how they shouldn’t have done you wrong. Or, at the very least, you will be able to read about how miserable their lives are and get to feel superior to them…. until you realize that it’s five a.m. on a Tuesday, you’re drunk, and wearing nothing but underwear.

2. Reading their blog because you are secretly jealous of the fact that they lead a (seemingly) more glamorous life than you. For example, you have a hidden love for the show Gossip Girl. You have a co-worker who has met the whole cast and posted pics to her Facebook account. You would never admit in daylight hours that you wish that YOU could meet the cast of Gossip Girl so you could brag about it on Facebook, but you get a little T&E and before you know it, you’re looking at her photos and the jealousy settles on you like a scratchy Snuggie.

Just say NO! to blalking.

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